Little Red Box

12/07/2014  - The new computer is up and running!!

Four years ago when JW started to slide into the Alzheimer world Mother and I had one Christmas left where JW knew it was Christmas and was able to go to church services and be aware of all that was around him.  That year we did "Lights on the Lake." A drive through Christmas light display. We exchanged a gift and had a really big dinner.  Three years ago JW was confused and not quite sure what we were suppose to do. Mother told him that just because he could not go shopping he could give my husband and I rolled coins that he had in his computer room.

Mother put 2 rolls of dimes in a little red box and tied it up with ribbon and it was a beautiful, thoughtful gift.  I said to myself that Christmas I was going to start giving JW the little red box for Father's Day in June and told Mother to have him give it to me for Christmas the following year. This little exchange has gone on for 3 years now.  I keep track of the dates on the bottom of the box and when JW is gone the little red box will stay in the china cabinet for good.

My family has a thing for boxes at Christmas time.  My brother in Florida has started to send us a box for Christmas and we send him a box also. It does not have to hold expensive gifts, just something to open on Christmas morning. My husband could care less about Christmas. He still sleeps late and doesn't even seem to care whether he has a gift to open or not. As soon as I wake up I go down stairs to open gifts with JW and Mother. I open the little red box and ohh and ahh over it like I never saw the 2 rolls of dimes. I have a cup of tea and just sit and visit.

When I was little and JW was in the military we spent a lot of Christmas' with JW gone.  I would ask for everything I could think of for Christmas. I am ashamed now because little did I realize that Mother was working 2 jobs just to pay the bills and keep a roof over our heads. I can remember when my best friend got rabbit fur mittens I wanted a pair so bad that I begged for them. I didn't get them but I think I was as grateful as any 14 year old could be for what I got.  A few years ago I got a beautiful pair of mittens and you can hardly do a darn thing with them on. So for practical reasons they would have been a total waste of money.

Now, Christmas is a day off from work and a day to relax.  We use to do midnight mass. That stopped 2 years ago when we could not take JW out into the ice cold air. I am thankful for every day that I have my parents. I am very mindful that every day could be our last. I don't sweat the small stuff any longer. Yesterday Mother went to get her hair done. Old school, once a week she goes to the hairdresser. JW woke up and I had to get him out of bed, into his wheelchair and into his chair in the livingroom. I try to stay up beat and not show him my fear.  Even though I have been trained on how to move him I still hope that I don't drop him. Then I would have to get James to come down stairs and help me get him off the floor. Let's hope that does not happen.

I use to be scared of death. Not sure how I would react when someone in my family died. My uncle passed away 11 years ago and it was the first time I was actually with someone when they passed. Not at all what I envisioned would happen. Uncle Wendy taught me that once we let go of this world there is a peaceful look that one gets and that is it. Nothing dramatic about it. Made me feel so much better. I sat with him and talked to him even though I knew he was gone.

I was thanking him for showing me that I had nothing to fear in death.  I think I might add a roll of nickels to the little red box.

Phyllis