Because I said so

01/24/2015

Have you ever been on a tread mill and you want to stop but the STOP button doesn't seem to be working.  That is how I am feeling at the moment.

Remember when you were young and your parent or guardian asked you to do something and you would reply "Why" and the answer to your query was "because I said so". We never questioned that and probably thought that if we did not honor the request we would get a spanking or worse sent to your room with a book.

Yesterday I received a telephone call from the home aid supervisor at the V.A. Seems they called my Mother to set up the times and days for the home aids and Mother told them that she did not want them. Of course I automatically started ranting about our agreement was "If I sign JW out of the hospital it is on the condition that you agree to a home aid, 2 days a week, 2 hours each day". This agreement was verbalized in front of three doctors and a social worker. Ok, that was the plan. Mother got very defensive and stated that she did not say it like that she more or less told them that she did not want people running in and out of her house all week long. Oh that sounds alot better I said. I in turn get a telephone call and tell the supervisor that we desperately need help. It is all over JW's records that I am the main contact and why in the world they would call Mother is way over my head.

Mother is trying her best but it is virtually impossible for her to keep changing him every morning, pushing him in the wheel chair to the living room, feeding him breakfast, lunch and dinner, trying to give him a shower at least once a week, wiping him down every day, getting him ready for bed, plus do all her wash and cleaning. I am not expecting miracles here but I would like the aids to get him up the two days that they are here, get him into the shower and clean him up. My fear is my 85# Mother having JW fall on top of her and than I am in deeper **** than I am now.

The children are finally going to come for the Holiday feast tomorrow and my grandson will talk his head off to Grandpa Blue Jay about school and all his science projects. For a 10 year old he loves science and we are encouraging him all we can. JW probably does not have a clue what he is talking about but it gives Mother an hour or so that she is not the super woman that she trys to be.

JW has been asking for his Mother. "Where's Mom" has become a daily question. No matter how many times Mother tells him that she is in heaven with his Father he still wants to know why she isn't here.

Today, Saturday, I will be driving Mother to her hair appointment and too the store for groceries. Right now this is the only time that she gets out and I am hoping that she will rest once the home aids start. Probable she will be over vigilant as usual and be in their way more than resting.

Finally, I am wresling with my conscience about over riding her on JW's care. I have an 85 year old with the beginning of dementia and an 87 year old in full Alzheimer mode. The best I can do is make sure that someone is in this house at all times and monitor them every day. If I have to I am going to have to pull the "because I said so" trick.

Have a great weekend.

Phyllis