Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Are we having fun yet..

03/08/2015

Yesterday was my son's birthday. It gave me a lot of time to reflect on what a mess I had made of my life and how it has changed in the past 25 years. I only became sane in 1990.  I was in a banking position analyzing stocks and bonds that I hated. Verifying floor plans for corporations that I hated. Counting millions of dollars that I hated and feeling like I was not worth anything. I wasn't even dating after a very difficult divorce and thinking that I was destined to be absolutely miserable for the rest of my days. It was one of those I should have gone back to college before I was 27. I should have known what the plan for my career was before I was 27. I should have studied anything other that finance and computer science. I spent years envying my little brother, the aeronautical engineer, because he was smart and I did not think that I was. The reality of the whole mess was I was smart but was to dumb to see it. 

I didn't realize that I was resourceful, inventive and smart until Alzheimer moved in. Mother and I have an ongoing joke and I think I told you about it months ago. She is the charge nurse and I am the med nurse.  Anyway, never in my wildest imagination would I have thought that we would be running a retirement/nursing home here when we bought the house 15 years ago. Mother has gotten the routine down real well and make no mistakes she is in charge. I just try to keep my opinion to myself and only over rule when I feel there is a chance for injury on any one's part.

A couple of weeks ago we ran into a problem with the Dad sitter. For the third time he did not show up at the prearranged time for me to take Mother for her Saturday scheduled errands. James, my husband, went down stairs to Dad sit and then informed me when we got back that he was going to buy a video baby monitor system and that would solve the entire problem. This past Saturday Mother and I arranged the time that we were going to start her errands and following my husband's instructions and took the little video camera downstairs and sat it on the end table facing JW's recliner and off we went. It worked like a charm. When you become a care giver for elderly parents, or any disabled person the one thing that weights heavy on your mind is are they safe. Because of the audio on the video monitor James could hear if my Father called out for help and the video is crystal clear. I took Mother for all her errands and I did not worry for one minute. First time in years I was not hyper vigilant.

Also, we have found a professional barber to come to the house and cut JW's hair. Thursday will be the first visit and I am really excited to see how it goes. We can get JW in his wheelchair and put him in the kitchen under the good light and Mother can just sweep up the hair off the floor.  Looking forward to that. Little things like getting your hair cut can do wonders for JW's emotional state. Even though he is not very social I am determined to have a little activity in the house so he has to look and listen to different things. Hard to do, but you will get very inventive. His doctors have reassured me over and over that Alzheimer patients do really well if they are pampered to the extreme. Well, JW is definitely pampered.

James and I are planning a short vacation to Las Vegas, to renew our 25th year together, with Elvis and the Pink Cadillac at the Little White Chapel drive thru. Our last vacation 2 years ago I got so stirred up about leaving my parents alone that I had a panic attack. They had to practically carry me on to the plane. This time, I have every day covered with professionals checking in. I will call every night and check in during the days too. This is normal.

Alzheimer may ground everyone to one location but you can get inventive on having care givers spaced at intervals so there is not just dead space in the house surrounding your loved one. Put different greeting cards within their sight for a change of scenery. I put little stuffed animals all over so JW can see them peeking out.

JW keeps asking for his Mother and Father. I told Mother that was ok. We have to worry when he starts seeing his Mother and Father and carrying on conversations with them. I have been told that may be an indication that I need to call his nurse.

Tomorrow is National Oatmeal Nut Waffle Day. Finally a day that I can whole heartily participate in.

Have a great night!!

Phyllis




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