The Last Ones

June 17, 2015

I knew it was too good to be true. Remember a couple of weeks ago I said everything was going smoothly. Well, of course I should have kept my mouth shut.

This past weekend my nephew, James, was riding on his motorcycle and a vehicle pulled out in front of him from a parking lot and he struck the side of the van. The force of the impact sent him flying over the van and he landed on the other side of the vehicle, in the road.  One of his close friends' had been in front of him and managed to swerve his bike and miss the vehicle. James had no time to react and got clobbered.  His friend is an Emergency Medical Technician. Thank goodness he was able to attend to James until the emergency vehicles got there. James has a broken leg, punctured lung and broken ribs. He is a really hurting puppy.

One of our close friends has lost a child. I can't call it a miscarriage because she was 7 1/2 months along. They were at the hospital for a check up and she started hemorrhaging. The placenta had separated and by the time they got everything under control the baby had passed. I took it hard but my husband, James, took it really hard. The baby's Father is really close with James and he was here at our house when the call came in for him to go to the hospital.  With this happening I got to thinking about families and how the name goes on.

JW is the last living sibling from his family. All his brothers and sisters have passed. His last name went to my brother, who had a daughter and when she gets married the name ends. All my Mother's brothers and sisters are gone and her maiden name goes on in her brothers' family, it stopped there. That is kind of depressing when you think that if you went on Ancestry.com® and typed in our JW's last name there is not going to be a little leaf on his name. I have a picture of my grandmother and grandfather, great grandfather and great grandmother. I want to know that I had a cousin named Pocahontas. We have a genealogy that goes back to the middle 1800's and I would love to go back further. To think that JW is the last living brother or sister from his family is kind of sad.

I work on a flexible hour schedule and someone asked me why I don't come in earlier in the day so I can leave earlier. I am storing memories. The time that I spend at home in the morning is my quiet time of the day to savor peace and quiet. Meditate and thank my higher power for all that I have been given. When I awake in the mornings I do not jump out of bed and run to the shower. I like to reflect on what is happening in my life. Sometimes it is an hour, sometimes a little less but I start the day calm. Of course with all the stresses that we humans put ourselves through I know that my meditation time may only be till my feet hit the floor but it is what it is. This morning I thanked him for saving our friend. She almost bled out. She should have died, she did not, was not her time. When it is our time no matter what we do it cannot be prevented. I go downstairs and check on the parents. Mother is getting a little frail and I try to reassure her that we are only upstairs if she needs anything. JW was awake this morning and in an Alzheimer mind. He wanted to get up and go to work and was convinced that he was late and was fretting over that. We opened one of his window shades and you have to calmly explain that he does not have to work today. You can tell him that he is retired, he will forget by the next time he wants to go to work.

Don't ever look at being a care giver as anything other than a blessing. Who would have thought that JW would still be with us at 87.  He drank for half of his adult life, drove drunk, had some bar fights, stabbed himself more than once while cutting meat and abused his body to the point that Mother and I just shake our heads in wonder. Truth be known, he is probable in better shape than I am. Even the doctors and nurses cannot believe how he is thriving. Mother and I believe that it is because we were fortunate enough to keep him with us. When we bought this house, 15 years ago, I knew that it would be the ideal situation to care for all of us. Alzheimer patients do much better if they are in their own environment. I guess JW is proving that.

I am going to keep going in to work at 9:00 am and store up memories every morning in the quiet time. After all, JW and Mother are the last ones.

Have a pleasant day.  Phyllis