5/31/2015
I hate to even say this but the last couple of weeks have been very smooth sailing. I really don't like to jinx myself. Every time I say something like that all hell breaks loose and I pay for the careless statements that I make.
I have had to go to the doctor a couple of times because the pain level of my rheumatoid arthritis seems to be at the highest point ever. Those of you who are blessed with perfect physical health, thank your lucky stars. Along time ago I was taught bio feedback to help with pain and believe it or not it does work. Sometime though the pain gets to the point where you do have to have medical intervention and a pain shot. Last week was the point where the pain was in every step and a shot was in order. Things have calmed down now and I am sleeping for at least 5 hours.
JW has done really well for the last couple of weeks. The barber has come the last couple of Sunday's and what a difference that makes. Last Sunday JW was even joking with my Mother and told her to leave the kitchen because it was barber talk. That doesn't happen too often. I am not sure if Alzheimer is the reason for the non communication but JW hardly talks any longer.
DeeDee, JW's nurses aid, is doing wonders with him. Her main focus when she is here is to bath JW and pamper him. She has worked in the medical field for a long time and she told my Mother that if JW was in a nursing facility she doubts that he would still be with us. The doctor's have told us on many occasions that Alzheimer patients do much better in the home environment. That is not to say that everyone is as fortunate as we are. JW is very docile and will go along with everything Mother does. That is not to mean that he still has times of difficulty. He stills asks why his Mother and Father do not come to see him. One of my co-workers told me that it's when he starts talking to his Mother and Father like they are in the same room with him that we may have a problem. He does not pace. I asked the doctors about his hands being heavily bruised all the time. Dr. Megan said that it is due to the 81 mg of aspirin that he takes on a daily basis. I asked if we could discontinue it and she said if I wanted to chance him having a stroke. Well, needless to say, bruised hands or a stroke. No brainer there.
Today will have to be nail day also. I soak JW's feet in a warm foot bath for 20 minutes before I attempt to trim his toe nails.
When my Mother tells me stories about when I was a baby she always says that it was JW that walked the floor with me at night. I was a preemie and apparently I had alot of colic. I am wondering if that is where I got the patience to do what I am doing. When I was growing up JW was away for most of my childhood. I had one parent to do all. For years I blamed that past circumstance to define my mixed up troubled life. Then when alcohol was removed from the equation I found out that JW was very caring, strong and intelligent. Things started to turn around for me. I started to take responsibility for my actions and not blame the past. JW said something to me once that has stuck with me over the years. I had asked him why he was doing something for me and he said "to make up for the past". I told him that you cannot have a redo. What is past is past. That is why they call it the past. I have learned many lessons over the past 6 years. JW will have been diagnosed 6 years next month. I don't wish anything different. When we bought this house 15 years ago it was for the express reason to have a place for Mother and Dad to stay with us.
In a different sense I walk the floor for my Father now. Just like a child, I worry and pray for him. I rush to help him if he falls. I have watched him decline to the point that it hurts my heart. I try to keep the tears at bay. I don't want him to see me cry. I help Mother care for him to the best of my ability. I thank my higher power everyday for James. He is here with them every day.
When I die and Jesus asks me, "What did you do with the life I gave you." I want to respond, "everything that you asked me to do."
Enjoy your day.
Phyllis
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