I am where I am suppose to be

Sunday
May 29, 2016

*Decoration Day or Memorial Day was declared born in Waterloo, New York in May 1966 by President Lyndon Johnson.  The origin of Memorial Day was proclaimed out of the Civil War to honor the dead on May 5th 1868 by General John Logan, National Commander of the Grand Army of the Republic, in order #11.  The first celebration took place in Arlington National Cemetery where 5,000 participants decorated 20,000 graves of Union and Confederate soldiers that are buried there. Memorial Day is now observed on the last Monday in May.  With Congressional passage of the National Holiday Act of 1971.

Mother made a strange comment to me a few weeks ago. "I live on memories" I asked her what that meant. She told me that all her siblings are gone, all her family that she kept in touch with are all gone. She wasn't talking about her children or church family.  The church family have made a point to call or visit her on a regular basis to keep her spirits up.  Every dish, coffee cup, ornament or knick knack in her curio cabinet she can tell you who gave them to her and where she got it. When she is sitting in quiet time she says she reminisces about days and years gone by. She is comfortable in her memories.

I don't think I am comfortable with all my memories. Some of the memories are past. So, I will leave them in the past. The present is just that a present. The future, I don't worry about, I have no control over my future. All I know is I am where I am suppose to be in this moment of time.

I have spent alot of time coloring today. I needed to meditate on alot of things.  This is the third year that Mother and I have made a large wicker basket full of cookies for our neighborhood fire station. We don't "make" the cookies, I leave that to all the little elves that live in trees. We do however, decorate the biggest wicker basket that we can find with red, white and blue ribbons, bows and flags. I write a thank you not to the firehouse staff and deliver it to them on Memorial Day. I want them to know how important they are to the neighborhood.

We also go to the greenhouses and buy all our plants for the yard. It was so hot today Mother only wanted to stay in the house and be with JW. We put their air conditioner in and even though Mother fights us on it I am trying to stave off dehydration. I even go so far as to go down and make sure they are drinking alot of ice water. I filled up the bird baths and the fountain in the backyard and so even the birds are happy.

I was on a crying jag one day about all the work falling on James and I and a dear friend of mine, that will tell me the truth no matter what, said "Even if you had help, how do you know that they could handle what you have to deal with". Well, that caused me pause and the more I thought about it I knew that he was right. We are where we are suppose to be. When I met James I was with his sister in a bar, I don't drink, I was designated driver that night. I am always designated driver. Now what were the chances of him walking in and me telling his sister, I didn't know she was his sister at the time, that he was the most handsome man I had ever laid my eyes on and IF I was dating that would be the kind of man I would date. That's when she told me it was her brother that she had been trying to fix me up with for the past 6 months. Who knew. Call it fate, chance, divine intervention or any type of power you want however, James was put on this earth to be my partner. After 25 years together I do not have to question anything else.

He is where he is suppose to be.

Let me say again, I am overwhelmed with the positive feed back that we are getting since we went public a couple of weeks ago. I have had to take on a manager to look after alot of the computer work, I know how to turn it on.  All I know is, what I write about is my life. We live it every day. Alzheimer's will be with us until the day JW passes over. It is not my friend but I still have to live with him every day. Alzheimer's cannot take away our spirit or our determination to make JW's days as peaceful and grace filled as possible.
After all, we are where we are suppose to be.

Peace, Happy Holiday weekend.

Phyllis

Source
*Goggle® Wikipedia