Wild and Wonderful

February 10, 2018

December and January were probably the most emotional draining period that we have had in a long time with JW. He had decided that he was not going to eat anymore and of course we all thought that it was going to be the end. Not soo. He continued to sleep 90% of the time and drink all his fluids. Then one day he decided to start eating again. Over the holiday season we lost 3 people at the care center. Mother has decided that she is the cheer leader for the residents in my Father's wing so she carries little trinkets that she can pass out when she makes her rounds. We had bought some prayer rocks with the cross carved in them and when we received them they were so much larger than we anticipated that we decided not to give them to anyone in the care center because we were afraid of them throwing them at other residents. Of course the nursing staff gets concerned if Mother does not come on her usual days and so she has gotten into the habit of calling in to the head nurse. She is afraid that if she is not there he is not going to get fed. I guess that comes with 68 years of marriage. I can notice that she is getting very fragile and she perseveres to push herself to spoil JW even now. I have limited myself to only going on Sunday's now. It is not that I don't want to be with him but I want my time to be with him to be unhurried and peaceful. Even if he is sound asleep when I say "Daddy I am here" he will say "Hello, sweetheart" and go back to sleep. 67 years old and I am still Daddy's girl.

December was an awful month. My medication that I had been on for 8 years for my arthritis stopped working. As a result every joint in my body became inflamed and the pain got to the point that James had to get my Father's walker, cane and toilet set up for me. I could not even walk the 16 steps to the bathroom. I was in too much pain. I can honestly say that it was the first time in 27 years that I stood in the middle of the floor and cried. My insurance has denied me the new medication and we are in the appeal portion of the request. My doctor contacted the manufacture and they are providing me with the medication for 6 months. I have progressed so far into the disease that the generic will not work. All this happened the 2 weeks surrounding Christmas and New Year's. When the kids came for Christmas dinner I could barely walk and I felt so bad. We still had a very good day and at least I got to visit with them. I still want to work until I am 70 and in order to do that I need to be able to walk.

My Father's care giver that we employ to take care of him 3 days during the week has not had a good couple of weeks. She did not feel good 2 weeks ago Sunday and her husband took her into urgent care center. They transported her to St. Joseph's Medical Center. Her heart rate was 39, should have been 65, or there about. They scheduled her for immediate surgery and she had a pacemaker implanted. I told Mother under no circumstances was she going to go over to the care center more than she is  now. She will be going on her regular schedule and that is plenty. Carol will be out 6 weeks so we just have to deal.

Wild and Wonderful is the state logo for West Virginia. My Father's theme of his funeral is going to be that. I decided that in order to incorporate all the cardinal bird things that Mother and I have purchased I will call his eulogy in the program "wild and wonderful." We purchased a beautiful cardinal statuette from "Hamilton Collection" tm and want to put that on the alter. Mother has picked Precious Memories as her theme. I am not sure if a theme is needed but we are going with it. The ladies group usually cooks for the after services meal however I am going to ruffle a few feathers and request that they join the mourners this time. I have arranged for a caterer when the time comes and I want them to support Mother at that time. I don't know why I have JW going first in my mind but I don't really know that answer only GOD does and he is not talking.