R.S.V.P.

07/13/2015

Repondez s'il vous plait. Please Reply.

I have spent every Sunday for the past 3 months going over the mail that I receive during a regular week and I have no less than 2 pieces of correspondence that I need to RSVP to every week.

Not that my social calendar is over flowing but I have a calendar that I keep all our appointments on and if you are lucky enough to be entered on any given day than it is your day and any correspondence that we receive after that I have to RSVP that "sorry, we can't make it."

One thing about Alzheimer is he is on every damn day of the week and weekends. He never said to me, Oh, by the way Phyllis, starting June 26, 2009 JW is going to have an accident and fall down a flight of stairs. Than one year later, his hip will break while he is walking and when he has surgery to repair it I am going to jump to the fore front of his mind and control your life from then on out. Nope, it would have been nice if I had a little warning.

My younger brother was here last week for a visit from Florida and it was like a vacation. I could sleep through the entire night and not have one ear and one eye open to make sure nothing was happening down stairs that needed attention. I was able to take my time getting dressed to go to work and not worry that Mother was sitting down stairs alone. I know that JW is there but if he is not in a talking mood that day, you will not get one word out of him. I didn't have to worry about Mother trying to lift things that she should not be lifting. We ordered out every night for dinner except for the one night that James cooked and it was wonderful.  I even stayed upstairs one night so Little B could have time alone with the folks.

I had thought about asking him if he was going to try to come to New York when JW passes but I really didn't think that it was my place to approach a subject like that. Well, Mother being Mother, knew that it had been on my mind so she asked him. I'm getting ready for work this morning and she says to me, "I asked your brother if he was going to try to come to N.Y. when JW passes and he doesn't think he can handle the stress." Personally I think that he made a really hard and honest decision and told Mother the truth. He has health issues that really are effected by stress. Well, I can't think of anything more stressful than a death in ones family. The thing of it is, Mother and I have sat and talked about all this and everything is planned down to the final detail. Mother than asked me, "what about the stress that it is going to be on you." Honestly, I told her that I don't have a choice. I chose to stay here and take care of them. I told her that I'll just call my family physician and ask him if I can take double antidepressants that day. She and I laughed and she knows that I will be OKay. I told her, "I have James to take care of me." I think that I told you in the very beginning that there were not many men who would have taken on a new wife and her parents all at the same time. He is wonderful to my parents and I thank my higher power every day that I have him. I will make out fine. The good parts will always be in our memory. Besides for all we know JW will outlive us all. I never in a million years thought that we would have him this long.

So, I am going to RSVP ahead of time and tell Dr. Jeff, "You know the times that I sit in your office and cry well, if JW passes before me could I make my appointments every 6 weeks instead of 8 to 10. He will understand. BYOT, bring your own tissues.

Phyllis