"Losing a loved one can be heartbreaking. But, a study published in 2014 shows that this can be more than just symbolic, as the chances of experiencing a stroke or heart attack after a partners death doubles within the first 30 days. July 13, 2015. (Medical News Today)
June passed on July 23, 2015. Her Husband Justin (Jake) passed away this morning. When a member of your family passes away it is traumatic. When two members of your family passes away in a two week period it is an event that I have no words for. June and Jake spent their winters in Florida and came back to New York every summer to spend time on the water and visit the family.
When I married James I went from 5 family members that I have interaction with to 187 people on his side. Believe me I had some adjusting to do. I have never been around any of my family members when there has been a death in my family. I remember when relatives have passed away but I did not experience being with someone that passed away until Thanksgiving Day, 2003. My Uncle Wendy was dying and we drove to West Virginia on Thanksgiving. When we arrived at their house my Aunt Shirley took my Mother into her brothers room and 15 minutes after we got there he passed. To this day I believe that he waited for Mother to get there. I went in and sat with my Uncle for quite awhile and talked to him and thanked him for being a great uncle and a good brother to my Mother.
Now June and Jake have passed. June wore an angel pin on her shoulder all the time. She made all of us in the family an angel pin. She was so talented that you could sit in the florida room at the summer house for hours and listen to her tell you about her crafts. When we use to go to the camp every weekend we always bought lots of food with us. June and Jake bought a slow cooker full of chili. That was her speciality. All the family would meet out there and eat dinner in the afternoon and play pitch on the porch till late into the night.
June also made these beautiful string art cards. Every Christmas we would get a card from Florida and June would have made these beautiful cards. She would poke holes in the card stock and sew by hand the pattern. It was very complicated and she must have had the patience of a saint. I could talk to June about anything. I spent many hours talking about kids, grandchildren and just life in general.
The final plans have not been made for the funerals. I can't imagine what her children are going through. My cousin is keeping us all in the loop and she said that she had been preparing herself for this a long time.
I have always said that if Mother goes first, JW is not going to last too long. Every time I go downstairs I am amazed at how my Father is just being. He may not know what a napkin is but he will sit there and fold it over and over. I take Mother to get her hair done on Saturdays and we put the video cam on and James can check on him from upstairs. This Saturday was cowboy day on the channel that JW watches while we are gone. He used to love to read western novels and then when he couldn't read any longer we started to buy him audio books. Now we are down to vision stimulus. He loves to watch westerns.
One of my coworkers said to me the other day that when JW is gone I am going to have to find another purpose. It seems like our life has revoled around Alzheimer for the entire 6 years that he has been diagnosed.
I don't know about another purpose but right now I am going to mourn for Jake & June. I will pray for their family and know that Jake died of a broken heart.
God's speed..insieme per sempre.
Phyllis
Post Script : 8/9/2015 - We attended June and Jake's memorial service yesterday and I just want to share my thoughts on the ceremony. All the children were there, along with grandchildren, great grandchildren, nieces and nephews and a large family presence.
I was struck by the interaction of June and Jake's 6 children. All with J names, by the way. Joseph, Jason, Jamie, Justin J., Jordan and Jill. The priest gave a heartfelt talk about heaven. Well, as nice as that was I was absolutely blown away by the children's testimony. Their addition to the ceremony was straight from the heart. They told antidotes about their parents that had everyone laughing. Yes, laughing. After all this was a celebration of 60 years of marriage between two people who raised a wonderful family. They were very proud of their children. They talked of their accomplishments all the time and you could tell that they loved them very much. A couple of the stories were new to me but alot of things I heard put me right back on the porch with June and Jake playing cards late into the night.
They handed out handkerchiefs that had a J ♥ J embroidered on them. I'm thinking that was a June thing.
I pray that when the time comes for me to eulogize my parents that I can have the grace and courage that June and Jake's family showed us yesterday. It was a speech of memory to honor their parents that I will remember and strive to emulate when my turn comes.
I like to think that when June and Jake crossed the rainbow bridge they did it together, hand in hand. I am sure June was waiting and said to Jake "What took you so long?".
Peace, Phyllis
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