February 27,2016
Eight and 1/2 weeks ago I had my surgery on my right foot. Last Monday I fell out of bed and slammed my right foot on the wood floor in my bedroom and because I still have very little feeling in my foot I did not realize that I had split open the toe that I had fused. OK because I did not feel any pain I continued to turn off the alarm clock and start to get ready to go to work. Wait, there are large pools of blood on my wood floor and why is there blood on the carpet in the dining room on the way to the bathroom. Ok, I checked my arms, hands, legs and then go to my foot. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! I have wore a protective brace on my foot since my surgery, slept in the damn thing with my foot practically sticking straight up in the darn air and the one night I don't wear protection on my foot I fall out of bed for the first time in my life and blood every where.
OK, do I wake James up and tell him I need to go to the doctor right now. I have an appointment at 3:40 pm or do I call the medical center now and tell them there is a chance that I just broke the fusion that was done. I can't seem to think straight and I have to try to get all this blood off the wood floor or it will stain. I can't bend over that well, I have socks and any thing else I can get my hand on around my foot to try and stop the bleeding. I want to just scream because I am scared half to death. I'll call Mother she will know what to do. Get James up and tell him to call the doctor right now and get into the medical center.
OK, call the office where I work and tell them that I am as dumb as a box of rocks and I just may have undone all the wonderful work that Dr. Fred did on my foot. Then James gets up and I am crying like a 2 year old. Here I just turned 65 and I feel like I can't do a darn thing right. Still haven't got all the blood off the carpet and I am ready to just leave it there. Give me a good excuse to get new in the spring. I'm still in the heavy brace sooo I am going to try to wrap my foot up, stuff it in the velcro and try to walk on my crutches. I can not believe that this is happening..
We get to the medical center and of course Dr. Sean takes me right in. I feel like he should be yelling at me because I did something so dumb. No he is as nice as can be and that just makes me cry louder. I go into x-ray and they x-rayed every angle that they can think of. I kind of was not thinking about the toes that they had detached and put back on. Now I'm thinking maybe I unhooked something that was hooked up 2 hours ago. Then while they are at it they might as well x-ray my ankle that I broke 3 years ago January 2nd. Now I have to wait for the x-rays to be read and I am sitting in the examination room thinking the absolute worse things that you can think of.
Dr. Sean comes in and everything is still where it is suppose to be and the fusion is still solid. Now I am completely a sobbing mess. I need to know if I can go into a lighter brace because the skin on the front of my leg is wearing down and breaking open from the weight. Yes, I got a lighter brace and added 3 weeks to my recovery time. Darn, looks like I won't be driving till the middle of April now. You really never know how important it is for you to be self sufficient until you can't do for yourself. I have to have James drive me into the city every day to work and pick me up. It is too far for me to walk to my office, on crutches, in the snow, from the bus stop. Plus I still cannot figure how to put the backpack on my back. Sounds like it would be a simple task, it is not. I have a long goose down coat and I feel like a toddler in a snow suit that can hardly maneuver a foot much less balance on crutches, carry my cross body bag and put a backpack on. I end up carrying 1 crutch into the building with the backpack over my arm and using the crutch on the right side to take most of the weight off my foot. Then of course I have some wise guy in the elevator saying, "They work better if you use them." I feel like saying bite me and mind your own damn business. Not only have I had the worse morning in a long time but I have to try and control my anger at myself and not take it out on anyone that happens to get in my path.
It has almost been a week and my foot still looks like a tangled mess. Everytime I put it up to try to get the swelling down I want to cry. My right leg is 2 times larger than my left and the skin on my foot looks like it is ready to burst at any moment.
I need a keeper. Maybe I should commit myself to a nice quiet assisted living facility. I wouldn't mind being assisted for awhile. Then I wouldn't be able to bother JW on a daily basis. This morning I found an absess on his stomach that I treated and covered. If it does not clear up in 3 days I will have to take him into the V.A. The last dermatology problem he had a couple of years ago the Dr. was not very gentle with him. Maybe it's just me but I figure he has made it 87 years and he surely does not need a Dr. in a bad mood. We all have bad days but, JW doesn't care if you've had a bad day. Just look at the wound, give me the information and let me get him back into his familiar surrounding so he can relax. JW does not like alot of activity around him and just wants to watch his T.V., eat a cookie, drink a soft drink and nap in his chair. Just like the rest of us would like that kind of day.
Tomorrow is a day of rest. Thank GOD.
Peace, Phyllis
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