Father's Day
June 19, 2016
JW is having a week! Two days ago he decided that he was moving out. Mother asked him where he was going and he couldn't tell her so she decided they should have a snack and talk it over. By the time snack time was over he had forgot that he was moving out. My little brother was here visiting from Sunday to Tuesday this past week and he helped me alot. When JR is here I can sleep soundly without trying to keep an eye and ear on downstairs. He also gave me some invaluable instructions on how to disassemble and assemble a electric shaver that we had bought for JW years ago, took it apart to clean it, and never got it back together.
So, the barber is on vacation for 2 weeks so yesterday I decided that I was going to shave JW while he was wide awake sitting on the front porch. He loves to sit on the front porch in the glider and just watch the world roll by. Well, I had the little clippers that are named "peanut®" that the barber had bought for us through the barber supply catalog and the new (only used one time) electric shaver. Now I had taken the clippers and used them on my skin to see how to hold it and how much pressure to use with them. I used the clippers to trim the whiskers really low and then used the shaver on his face. I think I did a fairly good job for the first time. I told JW that I know I don't talk his head off like his barber but he loves her to talk to him for an hour. Phil our barber was a member of our church family and she started out when Mother called her and asked if she would add JW to her list of customers. The first time she came over she stayed longer than just a shaving appointment and visited with Mother and JW for another hour. The change in JW was visible. A different sound, voice and attention. He just absorbed all the time that Phil spent on him. Now when Phil comes every Thursday Mother and JW are ready to relax and enjoy her company. I am so grateful for her. If I am shopping and come across a little trinket I will pick it up for her and you would think I was giving her a gold bar instead of a rock with a shamrock painted on it for St. Patrick's Day.
This past Friday James and I went out to dinner with one of my coworker's and his family. His fiancee' is from India and I had never had Indian food. I was in for a culinary event. Everything I ate was spiced to perfection, the wait staff was amazing and Sgt. Dave's family is precious. His Mother, *Iris, was so gracious and she and I found many shared activities to talk about. She participates in alot of the hobbies that I have and gave me some great tips to use in my coloring books. She is a quilter, which I am hopeless. I made a quilt for my daughter-in-law when she married my son and one for my grandson when he was born. After that all the paraphernalia was packed away and I can't even remember where it all is. His fiancee' *Saanvi, is the most vibrant, happy to be alive, cheerful person you would ever love to meet. Our dinner was 2 hours long and I don't believe that was one minute of quiet time. James and I had a wonderful break. To make things even better, Sgt. Dave's fiancee' is expecting triplets!! If it was me I would just say lock me up now. I almost lost my mind with just one child, it is beyond my comprehension to even think of 3. They will have alot of stories to share the next time we go out to eat and for years to come.
Bad night last night. Imsomnia kicked in. I hate those nights. Sleep is fragmented I get no rest. Got up at 9 for church downstairs in Mother's living room and when I got downstairs she was up to her elbows in rubber gloves and JW was parked in the bathroom. One of the side effects to some of his medication is constipation. Not a pleasant subject but important. Once a week she needs to give him a stool softener and you learn when you go, you go. It absoluetly wears my Father out. He is totally exhausted afterwards and dehydrated. We push fluids all day and keep an extra eye on him.
The thing is, when JW was in the military and actively in the midst of alcoholism I was the left out child. I don't have happy memories of Father's Day's with presents and the day spent with my Father. Clubs and bars was where he spent his days. When JW first got sober and had half his mind with him he started buying lots of gifts for the family and I said "What are you doing?" He said "paying you back for all that you missed when you were a child." That's the thing Dad, "It's past, you can't take it back, it was done and already in my mind." There is no pay back.
As I contemplate the here and now, I understand, maybe I am paying JW back for all he missed. I was there all the time, he never saw me. I'm here now and I will treasure my Father until his dying day.
Happy Father's Day!! Hug your children, hug your friend, hug anyone who is a Father figure to you. Just contemplate, anyone can be a Father but it takes a special man to be a Daddy.
I Love you Daddy, Phyllis
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