Still Processing

Saturday
July 9, 2016

Do you know when you are on a computer and you open a program and you have to sit and watch the green bar fill up on the top of the monitor. Right now my bar is only about half done.

I woke up yesterday morning like everyone else in the country and was assaulted with the visions of another violent attack on the unsuspecting public. These past two weeks has been a real blow to my psyche. The victims of this violence over this time period has not been a race issue for me. This has been a human tragedy. When I listened to all the news reports yesterday I slowly started to isolate myself. Everyone has ways of dealing with outer stressors in their life's . My way of dealing with stress is focusing all my anger on cleaning. When I start cleaning every drawer and surface in our home James knows to get out of my way. I'm trying to process all of this information just like everyone else.  The second way that I shut down is put documentaries on NetFlix® and binge watch.

I know that we all have stress but how you handle that stress can make a world of difference in your quality of life. Let's see, work, laundry, Mother's laundry, shopping for food and clothing, doing the bills, mailing the bills, taking showers, cleaning the house, dealing with Alzheimer, dealing with dementia, dealing with your own disabilities, dealing with you husbands disabilities, fixing meals, making sure the parents are eating, pray that your son will call, praying that your friends will call, praying that anyone will call. You get the idea. Never in my 65 years have I thought of picking up a gun and shooting someone. First of all that would give me a whole set of new problems. When I heard on the news that they used a robot to roll up on the perpetrator and blow him up I thought to myself how bad can it be that they have to blow someone up to kill them. Then they were showing videos from every darn cell phone in a 4 block area and how he shot the person then went over and shot them a few more times just to make sure he had killed them.

When did everything change. When did we start not valuing another persons life. When did we start taking justice into our own hands. All I can think of is vigilante justice. I grew up in the mountains down south. We had a shot gun by the back door. It belonged to my grandfather. We knew better to even touch that gun. It seems in today's society everyone is carrying concealed. I believe in protecting your family but like anything else you can go overboard.

I am not going to watch the news for a few weeks. Protests everywhere, protesters against the law enforcement officers. Would you feel that way if someone was breaking into your house and you needed the police there ASAP. I think not, you would welcome the blue coming to your aid. I know with JW and Mother if I had a problem, I would not hesitate to call the police. Please come and help us.

There is no answer to this problem. Like James says, it's not the guns that are killing the people, it is the person behind the gun pulling the trigger.

It's the Lone Wolf that we need to be wary of. I just heard on the news that they are warning people in other countries not to come to the United States to visit if you are a person of color. (I'm not watching the news but I can hear it from the man cave). I need to lower my blood pressure. I'm going to color and binge watch documentaries.

Enjoy your Sunday, relax with your family, hug your kids, be glad that you have a home. Please pray for all the families involved in this craziness. A Mother has lost a child, Father, brother, friend.

Peace ♥ Phyllis