Saturday
August 6, 2016
I am exhausted. Mother has been at the care center every day, 10 days to be exact. I wasn't prepared for the separation anxiety. I guess after being married for 67 years I would be lost without my husband also. I cannot go there on Monday and Tuesday's. We finally convinced her that if she goes a little later she would not be so tired. I can go there on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday's. I start work earlier on those days and it is easier to go after I am done. Saturday and Sunday's we are playing by ear. We stay and feed JW his dinner and wait for a nurse to put him in bed. After he is tucked in and we say our nightly prayers Mother and I come home. Usually between 6:30 and 7:pm.
The care center just called and JW has a skin tear on his arm. His skin is so thin the it can be tore real easy. I am not sure what the head nurse expected but she seemed really surprised when I said, " that happens alot with him." I am going to take my first aid supplies with me this afternoon. I prefer the non stick gauze pads so that when they change it the skin will not be pulled around the wound. I have to admit I have learned alot about wound care these past 7 years. They may not let me change it but I will try.
When I see some of the more severe residents there I feel lucky that JW has very limited problems. He can't remember that he is there for PT and his constant montra is "I want to go home." Believe me I am feeling the guilt of what I had to do. I don't want to separate them but he can't walk. There is no way possible to care for him in the home environment now. Mother is going to find fault with alot of things there. For instance, the other day when she got there he was uncovered and half in the bed and half out. She lite into the head nurse supervisor and demanded to know why they hadn't got to him quicker. James explained to her that for all we know they had been on rounds 10 minutes before that. Well, she was in a really bad mood for the rest of the day and I get most of the brunt of her anger.
I really see now what the problems of having limited staff creates. With 40 residents on my Father's wing there are about 5 aids on duty at night. There are residents that are paralyzed, wheel chair bound, in their mind they are unaware of where they are or who they are for that matter. One of the residents rolls her wheel chair from one end of the ward to the other. She is in constant motion the whole time we are there and she closes every door 4 or 5 times every time she passes one. Plus, she insists that we are not suppose to be there and keeps telling us to get out. One lady told me that she was searching for her family and couldn't find them. I told her that maybe she was taking a nap and they were there to see her while she was asleep. I wonder sometime how many residents are there and have no visitors. Alot of them sit in the hall by the nurses station so they can be watched.
JW is still on pureed' food. I am not sure why the V.A. ordered that but can you imagine our surprise when we tasted pureed' beef stew it was delicious. The cold sandwiches are awful but anything that is warm is good. I think that he is graduating to soft food next. The nutritionist has told us that next week we will be allowed to take a sandwich to JW as long as we feed him and he doesn't try to put one-half of the sandwich in his mouth at one time.
All I do know is I will go while I can. If it ever gets to the point where I cannot go while he is there then I will have to make other arrangements. Alzheimer is not even here anymore and he is still in charge. Your time is not your own. The days do not have enough hours. I am taking large picture books with me today that belong to my grandson. I told some of the hall wheel chairs that I was going to read them a story today. Give me Grace. Help me to cope with this.
Peace, Phyllis ♥
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