November 7, 2016
My friends, my constant comforter's, my place to rest. When I tell you that I have been to the heights of joy and the depths of despair for the past 6 weeks I can say that with no reservations that I am telling you a true fact.
I have been given 2 diagnoses over the last 6 weeks that has me crying in anguish and trying to deal with my own mortality. I have gone to my niece's wedding in Florida and cried with joy to be able to attend. I had been in a very low place and Saturday I hit the bottom, hard.
I know I have told you that James has a very large family. He has 2 brothers (both married) and 2 sisters, as of Saturday both are widows. I have heard over and over that it is what you leave behind that is important. My brother-in-law was the most complicated person you would ever meet. He loved the U.S.A. He was a proud 82nd Airborne Vietnam vet. How ironic that he and his wife live in little Vietnam in the city. His wife and one of their tenants found him Saturday afternoon when he failed to get up from his nap. The bad thing is when it is an unattended death the police investigation unit and coroner are doing their job by asking around 3-4 hours of questions. In the mean time my brother in law is still in the bedroom on the floor. I can tell you that the feeling in the house is this cannot be true. He was only 65. As the entire immediate family sit and wait for the formalities to be finished my sister in law is being put through the wringer. As word spread all of his Vietnamese friends are gathering outside on the front walk and his children are arriving. The image forever imprinted on my mind is my nephew, with his hand on the coroner van saying his final good-bye to his Father from their house. It broke my heart. Now the family is consumed with getting a funeral planned. I cannot tell you how everyone is pulling together to get this done with minimal stress on my sister in law. My sister in law has major medical issues that is triggered by stress. Well, hello, what can be more stressful than finding your spouse on the floor deceased.
What did Wendell teach me in 26 years? You can get a ticket in a parked car, not running, however, if the key is in the ignition, you can get a ticket. He taught me that even though I am a member of a huge family I felt like his favorite. EVERY time we saw each other the last thing we always said was, "I love you" and he told me "I love you too sweetheart". That will be the bright light in this mess. He knew that I loved him and I was his favorite.
JW has some issues and we are dealing with that on a daily basis. His degenerative disc disease has worsen and it is very hard for him to sit in his wheel chair for longer than one half hour. His rash on his bottom from the acidity in his food is a constant and we are running out of options to help it heal. With his dementia he really cannot understand why he has to stay there. He forgets that he cannot walk any longer and tries to stand up and falls. We have had 3 falls so far.
My medical issue are there and they are not reversible. Well, we will deal with those as it comes.
I feel better already.
Stay at peace..
Phyllis
No comments:
Post a Comment