January 5, 2017
Today I lost the 7th member of our family in 4 months. It is written that there is a reason for everything that happens in our lives. Right now I am at the point where I am looking to GOD and saying "You have to be kidding!"
James lost his Papi and there is a huge void in our family right now. To give you an idea of how much he was loved there was a huge turn out for his viewing and mass. There were at least 75 cars in the procession to the cemetery and a huge turn out at the reception following the burial. One of our cousins lost his Father in October and with that being so fresh in his mind it hit him really hard the day of the viewing. Tuesday when we were waiting in the vestibule for Papi to have his casket draped I happened to see our cousin standing, alone, at the door. I went over, took his hand, and said come with me. He said I cannot sit with the immediate family. I told him that Jesus did not care where he sat and dragged him up. Then when we took communion I asked him if he was going up. He said no he had not been to confession for a long time. I said, Jesus does not care, repent and lets go. I had James crying on my right and Carmen crying on my left. Now the curious thing about the whole day is I hardly cried. Now I am a champion crier and I usually cry at the unwrapping of a roll of toilet paper. For some reason as the Italian reception turned into an Irish wake I was pretty calm and composed. Maybe all the scripture reading is starting to sink in.
Papi died of Stage 4 bladder cancer, COPD and kidney failure. He was 92. He was in my mind a hero, like my dad. Papi participated in 2 honor flights to Washington, D.C. and when I was told about the ceremony that took place when his plane landed I was floored. All activity stops at the airport in Washington, D.C. and huge fire trucks escort the plane to the gate. Before they reach their gate the fire trucks form an arc out of water and the plane drives through it. It is called the arc of honor and it is a thank you to the veterans for their service. Papi had full military honors and when taps was played of course we all lost it. Then when the flag was removed from his casket and handed to my cousins all I could think of was put my hand over my heart and stand as still as I could to salute him. I fully support our military and the sacrifices they have made so I can have a great life in the USA. I always wonder why I was born here, in this country, in this time. I won't know until I get to heaven and read the book of knowledge. Papi also loved cigars. James and him would spend hours sitting in the Florida room at the summer house and just talk their heads off. All the while smoking a good cigar. They took Papi's humidor to the reception and anyone who wanted one of his cigars got one. James only put 50 in the box and they were all gone. We still have 3 relatives to send one too. They kept a few at home so it will be no problem. We took Papi and Gloria (his deceased wife) to the Outer Banks in N. Carolina one year and I can't tell you what a great time we had. For the entire week all we did was sit on the decks and watch the ocean, gather shells, nap, watch T.V. and eat. Perfect vacation. We rented a van so all 6 of us could ride together. My parents went also. Those pictures will forever be in my memory. I now know what Mother means when she says she is collecting precious memories.
Mother is at the care center tonight. JW fell out of the bed again 3 days ago. He scoots down to the end of the bed and because he cannot remember that he cannot walk he tries to stand up and down he goes. We are very fortunate that he has not been seriously injured thus far. He gets along pretty good. His legs ache alot now that they have atrophied. He is getting his knees massaged 3 times a day with a cream similar to Ben Gay® Mother and I had brought some labels that were preprinted with JW's name on them. We ironed some on and during the first wash they came off. Now we are sewing them on. We have some items that have disappeared but it is futile to try and find them. It was in early days that they were missing and I cannot say for sure if they were labeled correctly.
I need alot of rest.
My heart needs to heal. Papi is gone.
Death causes a heartache that nothing can heal.
Love forms memories that no one can steal.
Peace♥ †
Phyllis
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