Just stick your foot out..

April 10, 2017

This past month has been a real bitch. Not only have I had doctor appointments on top of doctor appointments but JW has had a rough month. Even though I have dealt with the emotional roller coaster that has become my daily routine there are still times when I just want to scream and say "I don't want to do this any longer!" It does not help that we have no close family that live near us. My son only lives 9 miles from us but it could be Jupiter for all he cares. He is so consumed with his work that he is there 12 - 14 hours a day. Not so good for a family life. His idea of seeing his son, age 12, is face time on his phone. My daughter-in-law keeps me informed of important stuff but I only see her 2X a year if I am lucky. My grandson has his own agenda and apparently grandparents are not so important at 12. I feel like an amoeba at the bottom of the food chain and we are the last people who get to see them. Oh well, my new little statue that I bought last month is "Be still, and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10. I tend to complain alot out loud if I am not careful. Then I would never see my kids. Oh, and I asked them to go see grandpa and I may as well talk to the wall here in my computer room. Mother told me once that when a son gets married it is totally different than a daughter. It's just you miss your child no matter what and where they go in life. I love my son and his family and just wish I could spend more time with them. There are only so many hours in a day. I suppose everyone's life is theirs to do what they choose. Sometimes it's hard for us to accept everyone does not live like we think they should.

My diagnosis has been confirmed. I have interstitial lung disease. My arthritis is hardening my right lung and I need to learn to live with it. It is a mild case, for now, and I just have to take it easy. Less stress my lung doctor said. He has got to be f'ing kidding me, right. How in the heck do I reduce my stress. I would have to be unconscious to have less stress.

In February New York State issued a new mandate that ALL safety railing have to be removed from residents beds in nursing homes. 3 weeks ago JW got tangled up in the bed railing and half of him went out of bed and the other half did not. I had about 8 calls from anyone and everyone who had any authority in Dad's facility to tell me that all the railings had been removed and he had 2 little foam rubber guards on his bed now. The x-ray company was called in to check him head to toe, all is well. I went in there to say the least and I threw one holy fit. Had James print out the mandate, read the entire thing and I have to say there was not one loop hole. The problem I had was the tiny foam rubber guards were not installed right and it would take JW one good turn and he would be out the bed.  I had most of his furniture moved away from his bed and gave him a 50 - 50 chance that if he did go out he would not hit his head on something. After a couple of days of stamping around and basically making a damn fool of myself I calmed down enough to face the problem head on, logically.  The care center obtained higher "bumper" pads for JW's bed and he seems to be comfortable in them.

His unit had been in quarantine for the last couple of weeks. Some of the residents were displaying symptoms of cold or flu. JW had been fortunate not to get sick since he has been there last July. This time we were not so lucky. He has not felt good for the past week and a half. You know when you are sick and do not want anyone to bother you, well that has been my Dad. He was sick to his stomach and now he is having bowel problems. Mother said that he felt better today and he ate a good lunch. Tomorrow I have an appointment with his medical team and go over his care plan. They do this a couple of times a year and they said there has been a major change in his treatment plan. I am sure that is to do with the new mandate that family members are not going to be allowed to feed their family members unless they are certified in feeding. All care centers are short on help. I think that if a family member comes in to feed the resident the staff are relieved. When we are there the staff peek in once in awhile but they know that we are in with JW and keeping a keen eye on him. Because JW is unable to feed himself we have someone there every day to feed him. So, here we go, another mandate to tie our hands tighter.

I usually do not sleep with a blanket but once in awhile I do get chilly. I end up sticking one foot out the end of the covers to regulate my body heat. I am trying to figure out how I can stick one foot out and regulate my stress.  That would be a good thing.

Happy Spring!!
Enjoy the clean air.

Peace, Phyllis ♥